What To Do When We Ask Ourselves Deep Questions
Although we like to think we’re in control of our lives, there are sometimes when this isn’t the case. We feel scared when something unexpected happens, and we feel confused and anxious when we’re faced with a question which we can’t answer.
The worst kind of these questions are those which are ‘deep’ – questions that puzzle us and force us to think in ways which we aren’t used to, and may not want to.
Why are we here? Why do we have certain characteristics, certain family members who behave in certain ways? Why am I not happy with the way I look, or the way I feel about certain events? Where can I find eternal happiness? Is it something that is within me or is it something ‘out there’? These, and many more questions of a similar nature, persistently plague us.
Even when we try and distract ourselves with chores or busy work, a question of deep value will pop up in our heads from time to time and get us wondering.
I’m no different – I have many unanswered questions in my life. Some questions will be answered as the years go by, only to be replaced by new questions. Some questions will never be answered. I suspect everyone, to some degree, is this way – we all have questions, and some of them will remain unanswered.
But what to do with these questions? How do we handle them and prevent them from driving us insane, or at least let them add some perspective and value to their lives? Here are four tips on handling those questions so you don’t feel yourself ‘losing the plot’.
Everybody Else Asks Those Questions
An important point to remember as you journey through life is this: you are not alone.
There is no thought, action, or behavior that has already taken place in the world somewhere, at some point. No matter what you may be thinking or doing, somebody else has already thought or done it. If that doesn’t make much sense, then look at it this way – someone else has already gone through what you’re going through.
Those questions that you are pondering on, about whether life is really worth it and whether you are doing the right thing – somebody else has already thought them. You may not know that person, or even be in the same country as them, but I guarantee that somewhere in this world, there is at least one individual that has produced the same thoughts that you have.
Everyone else has doubts and worries which they can’t easily resolve, it’s part of life. It may be worth sharing these questions with someone you trust, someone whom you feel comfortable opening up to and talking deeply with. There’s a chance they may have questioned the same things that you have, and that they will understand you. Then, you’ll truly realize that you are not alone.
Focus On The Good Things
One of the reasons why we begin to ask such deep questions is because something has gone wrong in our lives. We are faced with an unexpected event, such as redundancy or a traffic accident, which forces us to question our beliefs, and we then wonder why things have gone wrong. As part of this questioning, we ignore the complete picture.
Although we experience a lot that goes wrong in our lives, we tend to focus on the negative when it does happen, and ignore what is positive. The negative claims more of our attention than the positive, which then leads us to ask ourselves questions to sort out the dilemma in our heads. We reason with ourselves that if we can figure out why bad things are happening, we could make them ‘go away’.
Unfortunately, bad things don’t go away, but that doesn’t mean the good leaves us either. It’s important to focus on what is good in our lives, on what we currently have that’s working for us. To lose sight of the good is to be unrealistic. Focus on the good things as you reflect on the deeper questions, as this will enable you to maintain a clearer perspective.
Listen To Your Inner Voice
As we are all individuals, with our own ways of thinking, acting, behaving, and doing, then it stands to reason that we have our own ‘internal voices’.
Internal voices have been called ‘conscience’ and ‘heart’, but I prefer to call them our ‘true selves’. It’s our true selves that are constantly present, consistently wandering about whether something is right or wrong, whether we should or shouldn’t do something, and many other decisions, reflections, and thought processes throughout our lives.
It’s our true selves that ask the deeper, more meaningful questions, and we have little choice but to listen to them when asked. But that doesn’t mean we should brush them aside. For when our inner voice wishes to communicate with us, we would do well to engage it.
Listen to your inner voice, your true self, when it wants to engage in deeper communication with you. Discover what questions you have been asking yourself all along. Once you open yourself up to a dialogue, you can learn more about why you are asking those questions, and more about yourself in the process.
The Search For Meaning May Never End
Finally, it’s important to remember that even if you find answers to some of your questions, it’s near impossible to find answers to all of them.
I honestly don’t believe that there is an end to a human being’s quest for answers – perhaps there are too many questions and too few answers. But please don’t despair. Rather than enter into a depression over mankind’s lack of ability to wholly discover themselves, I believe we can use this to enter into a state of peace.
When we experience a sensation of ‘letting go’, particularly when we let go of an internal problem or dilemma, we instantly lose all of the worries that we had associated with it. The burden that we had placed on ourselves vanishes, as if it’s melted away.
In its place is a sense of emptiness, but not because the problem has gone away. We haven’t emptied ourselves of the problem, but instead, we have emptied ourselves of the negativity associated with the problem.
This may be the greatest advice I could give on handling questions of a meaningful nature – just let go. The need to find answers to questions may be ‘natural’, but when we can no longer find all of the answers we seek, we must try a different approach.
We must set aside our desire to ‘solve’ everything, and let go.